The action takes place in the changing room immediately after a Lions game against Australia in 1959. David Marques is an Eton and Oxford educated Guards officer.Bill Murray is an Irish farm-hand. The game is still amateur. Both are bloodied after an epic battle. This is a true story I read in the obituary of David Marques in the Daily Telegraph. A great place to find English eccentrics.
- D David Marques a 6ft. 5in line-out specialist.
- B Bill Murray a tough prop.
- B Jesus What a bloody game.
- D In more ways than one. Damn fine win though.
- B We murdered the Aussie bastards.
- D I thought they played remarkably well.
- B Not well enough…21-9….Fucking great.
What happened to you? Looks like a broken nose.
- D Oh! It,s nothing….Aussie hooker got a bit over-excited.
- B Come on what happened? What did that Aussie gob-shite do?
- D Oh! It’s over I prefer to forget it.
- B Come on….Just between the two of us.
- D Well I’d passed the ball to Gavin..He made a marvellous break and I tried to follow him.
The Aussie punched me in the nose. Stopped me in my tracks. Good solid punch..I saw stars
The ref clearly didn’t see it.
- B That ref should have had a white stick and a guide-dog. Probably had an Aussie father.
If he had any parents…..Bastard.
Must have been off the bloody ball. Wish I’d seen it. I would have nailed him
in the next scrum.Tell me you got him back.
- D Don’t worry ..I taught him a lesson he won’t forget.
- B You flattened the dirty bugger at the next line -out.
- D Even better. I stood tall.
- B All 6ft. 5…..Yeah…Go on.
- D I stood tall…walked slowly towards him.
- B And leathered the sod.
- D Not quite….I held out my hand.
- B You did what?…What sort of retaliation is that? What did he do?
Give you another whack?
- D No….he took my hand a shook it.
- B Holy mother of God….I don’t believe you did that….To a dirty Aussie hooker.
Why didn’t you flatten him?
- D Bill….You wouldn’t understand…..I wanted him to feel like a cad.
- B (Laughs out loud)
You’re priceless…..I’ll never understand you English toffs.
An eye for an eye or in your case a nose for a nose, that’s our way.
- D Precisely, That’s the trouble….We’ll go on punching each other and worse
until some one offers a hand. Now come on we won the match. I’ll show you how
the English celebrate.
- B Now that I’ve got to see.